Five Times Mike Newton has hated Edward Cullen
by samantha.e.anne
Summary: Mike Newton on his favorite subject, himself, and his least favorite subject, Edward.
1. Mike Newton's Favorite Subject

This author loves Edward. Really. There's so much Edward love that she likes to write fanfiction

Mike Newton knows he's damn sexy and he likes to think in the 3rd person. Also, Sam would just like to say that she doesn't like Mike Newton at all. She just thinks he's an egotistical twit who needs to get a life, but he also doesn't get to say much in the ff world.

**Disclaimer: **Thank God and Moses that I don't own Mike Newton. I don't like the boy at all. Also, the f word is used at the end. I don't own that either.

**Mike Newton on his favorite subject (himself)**

Mike Newton likes to think of himself as a nice guy. He's courteous to old ladies, even the ones who try to pinch his cheeks, he's never once kicked a puppy and he always eats his vegetables, even if they're cauliflower. All in all, Mike Newton is a pretty good catch, if he says so himself. Still, as he gazes at Bella Swan from across the cafeteria table it really seems like a nice guy can't catch a break.

Jessica asked him to the dance this morning, and while he admires her courage, he still tells her he'll think about it. Jessica is a nice girl and all, but she's no Bella Swan. Bella Swan is a puzzle to Mike. A really, really hot puzzle.

He walks with her to Biology everyday and everyday he revels a little bit in the jealous stares he gets from some of the guys. Mike Newton is not a bragger, but he's gotta admit it's pretty chill that he's walking down the hall with the hottest girl in school. He is about to spontaneously combust because he's so damn anxious for her to ask him to the dance. He's actually wondering what has taken her so long. It's been almost five hours and she hasn't asked him yet. He's extremely impressed with her self-control. Not many girls can resist the Newton charm, his mom can totally attest to that.

When they reach the Biology classroom and she still hasn't asked him to the dance, he starts to get a little worried. They silently walk into the classroom and then he sees him. Cullen. The freaking white elephant in the room. He's just sitting there, being his Cullen self, quiet and evasive. As Bella situates herself in her seat, Mike notices that she flicks her eyes toward Cullen for just an instant and he knows it's a lost cause. Bella will never ask him to the dance. She's too far gone on a guy who saved her life. What is it with guys with a Savior complex? He wishes that they could just go back to when Cullen was gone and Mike was the knight in shining armor who helped her with volleyball.

He takes his usual position on top of her desk and looks down at his shoes for a minute, hating that he has to even bring it up.

"So, uh, Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." Bella smiles and Mike wants to kill himself. Great? What's so great about Jessica Stanley? "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

Fun? He'll have a lot of fun with Jessica. That's the best she can come up with. Maybe all this happiness is her way of covering up her jealousy, maybe she's just trying to be a good friend. He tries again.

"Well," he pauses, trying to think fast. "I told her I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" Bella's facial expression says it all, she's definitely not happy about this answer.

He feels the red hot flush of embarrassment come over his face. "I was wondering if…" He trails off, knowing already what her answer is going to be. "Well if you might be planning to ask me."

He wants to kill Cullen at this moment, because he sees the slight swivel of his hair, and he knows that Cullen is reveling in his humiliation. He tries to look intently into Bella's eyes, trying to compel a positive answer out of her.

"Mike, I think you should tell her yes."

He's furious. Furious at Jessica for asking him in the first place, furious at Bella for her natural perfection and furious at Edward freaking Cullen for being there to witness every single minute of this rejection. Obviously someone has already gotten the pleasure of being asked to the dance by Bella, and he wants to tear the guy from limb to limb. For the first time in his life, Mike Newton is overcome with jealousy.

"Did you already ask someone?"

Her shock at his audacity is apparent. "No, I'm not going to the dance at all."

And with those words he sees all chances of dancing with Bella Swan suddenly evaporate. "Why not?"

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday."

She's lying, he can tell, and he still sees a glimmer of hope for some dancing action. "Can't you go some other weekend?"

He's convinced that he's found the solution to her problem. Eliminate time conflict and that means Mike-Bella action. That is, until she delivers the final blow. "Sorry, no. So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude."

He wants to fight for her, to just reach over and throttle Edward Cullen, to show that Mike Newton is a tough guy. But instead he just slinks back to his desk, to where his frizzy haired partner is sitting, eagerly awaiting the lecture from Mr. Banner. When he's sure Bella isn't looking he looks at her table once more. It seems that Cullen has her in a staring contest, and he can't help but notice that Bella's never once looked at him that way.

That's when Mike Newton realizes something. Nice guys finish fucking last.


	2. First Day

Honestly, I don't like this one as much….

Mike Newton wasn't always the sexy man candy we all know and love cough hate cough.

Mike Newton is ready for high school. He got his braces off a month ago and he convinced his mother to let him get contacts instead of those stupid wire rims that she had made him wear since the second grade. He also bought cologne, guaranteed to make men irresistibly desirable. Or at least, that's what the bottle said. He can't wait to walk into high school and show off his stuff. None of the girls are going to recognize him, thank God, and he knows they'll never know what hit them.

He's bouncing up and down anxiously as his mom guides the Suburban into the parking lot.

"Mom," he whines. "Can you drive any faster? I promised Tyler that I'd meet him at the front."

His mother acquiesces, knowing that her son is desperate to make the best entrance as possible. She pulls up to the curb and he practically leaps out of the car. She shakes her head as he runs helter-skelter towards the buildings. Her little Mike is growing up.

When he's sure that his mother isn't looking he slows to a leisurely stroll, hoping that everyone is staring at the Greek God within their midst. He passes by two girls that he's sure are juniors, who seem to whisper excitedly when he passes by. He preens, and sends what he thinks is a seductive stare their way. The taller brunette starts to laugh hysterically, pressing her face into her friend's shoulder.

So not what Mike was going for. He notices Tyler nervously shifting his feet a few yards away and he hurries towards him.

"Hi Tyler!"

"Hi Michael," Tyler looks uncomfortable in the high school setting, but that's okay. Mike knows Tyler doesn't need to worry; Mike Newton has enough charm and wit to get anyone through high school.

"Actually," Mike corrects, "I'm going by Mike now. Chicks dig it."

"Right," Tyler coughs, looking furtively in the other direction. His face lights up. "Oh, wow. Who are they?"

Mike looks in the direction of Tyler's gaze and he sees them. He notices the blonde first, and he thinks he's fallen in love. Then he sees the boy whose shoulder her head is resting on. The kid is huge, at least 6'5" with muscles to boot, and Mike has barely grown since the 7th grade, when he was 5'4". He shifts his gaze down the line and notices the black-haired girl who looks like she's dancing, even though she's standing still. She's also incredibly tiny, so Mike knows that when he took her to homecoming she could totally wear heels and he'd still be taller. Because god knows it's embarrassing when you're dating a girl taller than you. Not that Mike knows from experience, but he totally knows that she'd date him.

A brown haired blur whizzes in front of him and he feels arms going around him. "Michael! Oh my gosh, how was your summer?"

Jessica Stanley. Mike doesn't really care about her very much; she's nothing special, not in comparison to these two beautiful girls that are in front of his own eyes. "Oh, hey Jess. It was good. What about yours?"

"It was fantastic!" She rambles on for about three years about all the new people she met, while both Mike and Tyler stare at the new kids. "Um, are you guys even listening to me?"

"Yeah," Tyler mutters distractedly. "Oregon sounds like it was a blast."

Jessica frowns. "But I was in Hawaii." She stares at Mike for a minute. "Wow, you've like really changed Michael."

He preens, reveling in the attention, even if it is from Jessica Stanley, who everyone secretly thinks is way too annoying for her own good. Feeling confident he stands up and saunters on over towards the gorgeous beings across the way from him.

The blonde is staring off into the distance and when he stops in front of her she still hasn't moved. After a minute of uncomfortable silence he decides to start talking.

"Hi," he sticks out his hand. "I'm Mike Newton. What's your name?"

The blonde slowly turns her head and stares at Mike with unnaturally golden eyes. He stares mesmerized by the total effect of her beauty. She was unquestionably the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. He stares for a few seconds more until he can feel the prickling heat of a blush coming onto his cheeks.

The pixie girl has now joined the quiet staring contest and Mike gets flustered as he tries to not turn around and run away. If this is high school then he wants to go back home and hide under his Superman sheets for the rest of his life.

"Well it was nice to meet you," he squeaks out. "I'm sure we'll see each other again." With that he slowly turns around and speed walks back towards where Tyler and Jessica are anxiously waiting.

"So who are they?" Jessica's brown eyes are hungry for information and gossip.

Mike shrugs. "I don't know, but they definitely don't seem nice."

Tyler looks over at them quickly. "One of them is looking over here."

"Really?" Jessica cranes her neck in an attempt at subtlety. "Oh, it's the one I think is cute."

Mike stifles a grin. One of those people would never go out with Jessica, even if she wheedled her way into their good graces. Jessica was okay, until she opened her mouth. When that happened, all bets were off. "What's he doing?"

"Staring at you." Jessica's tone reveals the implication in this statement.

Mike surreptitiously glances towards the group again. Sure enough, the smallest boy is looking straight at him. No, not looking, staring. In fact, if this boy's eyes were lasers, Mike's pretty sure that he would be dead right now. This moment totally reminds Mike of that one game he was playing the other day, the one with the big fight scene. He muses on the latest level when he hears something behind him.

"Mike?" Tyler asks anxiously.

He shakes his head and reaches up to feel that the spikes are still perfect. The guy is still staring at him, with one eyebrow barely quirked up. Like he finds everything that Mike is doing is this huge joke, which it totally isn't. He shakes off the guy's gaze and follows Tyler to their first period class.

Some scary looking guy with a moustache is standing at the whiteboard, writing a complicated looking formula on the board. Mike gulps nervously and makes his way towards the back of the room. He looks to the right and notices that the small pixie is in his class. He immediately changes his demeanor, standing up straighter and putting his shoulders back. He swaggers towards the seat until he trips over something. He falls flat on his face and cringes as the laughter starts.

"Mike are you okay?"

Mike glances up towards the ceiling and sees the guy who was staring at him earlier. He's barely hiding a smirk as he looks him straight in the eye. Obviously this guy tripped him. Mike clenches his fists in an attempt to not get angry. He straightens his shirt and makes his way back towards his seat.

A few minutes later the scary moustache dude stands in front of the class and has everyone introduce themselves. Mike and Tyler both manage to stammer out their names, not that everyone didn't know them already and by the time Mike's managed to find his bearings again it's the pixie's turn.

"Hi," she smiles sweetly. "My name is Alice Cullen." With that last word she daintily sits back down in her seat, her eyes focused on the binder in front of her.

The bronze-haired boy that tripped Mike stands up. "I'm Edward Cullen."

His eyes sweep the classroom and focus on Mike as he sits back down. Mike gulped, there's no way that his introduction can stand up to Edward Cullen's. God, what kind of name was that anyway? Who was this kid and why was every girl in the room staring at him instead of Mike?

The boy – Edward – turns towards the front of the room and Mike spends the rest of class staring daggers into his back.

The first day of the rest of his life was not supposed to involve Edward Cullen. Somewhere along the line the Universe must have decided that Mike didn't deserve all the hotties at Forks High School and for that Mike hates Edward with all the passion he can muster.

At the end of class when he walks by Edward he silently sends him all the hatred he can muster. He swears that Cullen is laughing at him as he walks by him and when he glances at Alice she has a smile on her face too.

Whatever. He's still Mike Newton, and he will become God's gift to women. If not, there's always Jessica.


	3. Hyphy!

Okay,

So unfortunately this isn't an update for poor Mike, but I was wondering if you guys could answer a query of mine…

Would you rather have Mike in a musical theatre extravaganza or would you like to suggest something of your own that you feel Mike would do?

Also, would you prefer that we stick to events that strictly happen in Twilight and New Moon, or would you be willing to explore the time parameters. Like Mike in 15 years?

Let me know,

Sam


End file.
